I’ve worked at United Way for the better part of a decade. During my time here, I’ve been asked, “What does United Way do?” ”Why do you give to United Way?” “Why do you work at United Way?”

I usually give impassioned answers about our community and the people we help and the statistics we’re addressing. I believe what I’m saying. I have deep convictions. But my answer is always a half-truth. So here, in this intimate one-on-one universe of the internet, I will share my secret with you. The real reason I give to and work at United Way and an explanation of what United Way does:

ME.

I grew up poor in rural North Carolina. I was the fourth of four kids. Both of my parents came from long lines of poverty. Between my parents, my three siblings and my siblings’ kids, there are the scars of several generations of poverty: low education, physical abuse, sexual abuse, drug addiction, alcohol addiction, foster care, teenage pregnancy, incarceration, mental illness, prostitution and homelessness.

And then there’s me. I grew up in the same environment as the rest of my family, but as an adult, I’ve managed to live a life free of abuse, addiction, crime and instability. I’ve been married to the same wonderful man for 13 years. I had my first child at 32. I’m the only person in my family, including the generation that’s come after me, to get a college degree. I have a great job and a happy, stable life. So what made me different? Why is it that I tolerated similar circumstances to the other people in my family, but managed to break the cycles when they did not?

First, there’s something to be said for being the youngest kid. Being younger (eleven years younger than my closest sibling) gave me perspective. Secondly, I’m rebellious. Given my propensity to do the opposite of what I’m told to do, I probably would have ended up much worse off had I been raised in a solidly middle class, happy family.

But most importantly, I was involved at a young age in extra-curricular programs, all of them free (many, thanks in part to United Way funding), offered in my community.  I was active in dancing and acting and civic groups.  I met lots of kids who had different, better circumstances.  I met their moms.  I saw that it was normal for women to have PhDs and careers and partners who valued them as equals.  I had positive peer pressure to be an honors student, to go to college, to have self respect.  And I had an escape: whenever things got too bad at home, there was a dance practice or play rehearsal or volunteer event to go to.

It wasn’t just one program that made all the difference.  It was the fact that I was exposed to multiple positive outlets and people on a regular basis that reassured me there was a better world out there for me.

And that’s why I believe in United Way. I’m living proof that the philosophy of United Way – that it takes several agencies working together and providing wrap-around services to effect change – works.  I took advantage of academic, civic and cultural programs.  I got free mental health services as a teen.  I was given leadership roles and responsibilities in clubs.  All free of cost, all made possible through donations of people who didn’t even know me.  How cool is that?

 I’m proud to work at, support and be a success story of United Way.

Happiness: Brought to You by United Way.